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Stand_in_Awe
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Name: Lisa
Country: United States
State: Michigan
Metro: Detroit
Birthday: 11/3/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: GOD, running, singing, learning the guitar, friends, laughing, coffee, speaking Spanish, teaching, learning every language there is
Occupation: Student
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  Lichelle113
Member Since:
8/4/2004
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| I heard this quote the other day and it's truth blows me away...
"For the truly faithful, no miracle is necessary. For those who doubt, no miracle is sufficient."
think about it...
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| this is where you can find my adventures in teaching:
http://teachingenelcaos.blogspot.com/
i may still occasionally write here, but i just needed something new, for this new phase in my life. there, you'll be able to read about my life as a teacher and what God is teaching me through it.
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| Sometimes the stereotypes of things in the "Christian bubble" drive me nuts.
I was browsing books today in the Family Christian Store and came across a book that caught my attention. The words on the spine read:
RADICAL, RECKLESS, RELENTLESS
If you know me at all, it shouldn't surprise you that this caught my eye. So I pulled it out, and was sorely disappointed. The complete title is "Christ Centered Living for MEN... RADICAL, RECKLESS, RELENTLESS." So I started to look for the one for women and wouldn't you know... the title for women is "Christ Centered Living for Women... Faith.Hope.Love."
Are you kidding me???
It really doesn't surprise me so much as it irritates me. How come in most Christian views the men get to be the radical ones and women have to be the frail, meek ones? (not that there's anything wrong with being meek, Jesus said they would inherit the kingdom of God) It's just such a lame stereotype that girls living for Jesus is so quiet and guy living for Jesus is so extreme.
let me tell you... WOMEN CAN BE RADICAL FOR JESUS, TOO!!!
more later... i just had to get it out there
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| I've decided that's what I am... in transition.
I'm in this interesting place right now where I'm in between jobs, learning to live with my parents again, learn how to live out my faith at home, and struggling to want to be here.
I feel like all I ever think about is the future... when I'm done with my student teaching, when I have a real job, when I (hopefully) move back to Lansing, when I'm serving the Lord in a Spanish-speaking country, when I'm married... Maybe it's because I'm in this waiting period between summer school and the next school year, but I don't really feel like I'm here... nor do I want to be here.
Maybe it's just because all of this is so much change from what I've experienced for the last few years...
Change.
There, I said it. The one thing that, as humans, we forget we can do. We get so used to a routine and doing things one way that when something happens and things can't go the way they used to... we don't know how to handle it. We get comfortable in our little routines and the thought of flying by the seat of our pants sounds scary and ridiculous. And then what happens when life events crash in and disrupt our everyday patterns? We freak out and struggle to obtain another sort of normalcy to live out day to day.
Why do we do that?
Why do we strive to live in a comfort-zone?
Not saying that we should be constantly on-edge, waiting for the next calamity to strike...
But why do we forget that we can change?
Let's look at it in terms of my walk with God, since I would like to say that that is my life.
If I'm not growing in my relationship with God, I'm stagnant- doing the routine: going through the motions (quiet time 7 AM, pray 20 minutes, and I'm off for the day), not really going anywhere (because I'm just in my comfort-zone), not really seeking Him (because if I were, I would be growing)... I'm not doing anything to let God use me and further His kingdom. Why would I want that?
Walking with God has taught me how to change.
And shown me that I will constantly be changing my whole life.
As long as I continue to walk with Him.
Which I intend to do until He takes me home.
Amidst my struggling, this verse has given me hope:
"God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have
shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them." --Hebrews 6:10
I am in transition...
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| "...in a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt, I was trying to
hard to fit in until I found out that I don't belong here... see, I
don't belong here, I don't belong, I will carry a cross and this song
to where I don't belong..."
Seems like lately I've been walking in a cloud, in a dreamy fog. Like nothing that I'm living right now is real. That I'm going to wake up soon and I will be stuck in some reality that I have never known.
You see, lately I've had this feeling in my chest... that frustration of the fact that I don't belong here. Not literally here, where I'm at in my life right now, but that I was not made for this world, that the things of this world don't satisfy me.
This should be great news, right? A beautiful letdown, just like Switchfoot sings. Which it is... but it is also frustrating at times. Like right now. In a transition. From inner-city summer school teacher to student-teacher in white suburbia. This down time that I know should be used for rest and preparation. I'm just getting frustrated. And I'm having a hard time being present in the moment. I just keep dreaming off to when I'm done with student-teaching, when I get a real job, when I'm doing ministry full-time, when I'm living in a Spanish-speaking country... (all of those also have "if"s with them as well.
"I am a stranger on earth; do not hide your commands from me." -Psalm 119:19
I have been caught in this blessed frustration. Yes, I don't belong here, but since I am here, what will You have me do, Lord? Sustain me with Your word and truth, for I know I cannot stand on my own. Give me Life, show me Your purpose for me. If You will not lift this frustration, show me how to use it for You. Guide me. Lord, I'm desperate. If nothing else, bring glory to Yourself.
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